Today, As I was vacuuming and thinking, again, how frustrating this whole adoption thing is, and when will I be able to call John and tell him we got the call? When will we get on that plane already? When will she finally be in our arms? When will she be home and meet her forever family of older siblings, grandparents, aunts& uncles, cousins and new friends??
And all of a sudden, I tuned into the song playing on the computer.
I have been listening to Christmas music for about 3 weeks now I know, I know. But I like it, so get over it.
Anyway, Steven Curtis Chapman’s All I Really Want song came on.
I stopped and stood there thinking.
And unlike the song, I got to thinking of Elena’s mommy.
Who gave her up. Elly's mommy who had to walk away for whatever reason. Elly's mommy who couldn’t do for her what she really wanted to. Elly's mommy who probably is thinking of her this very moment. Wondering how her little girl is doing. Who is taking care of her? And do they love her? Really love her? Does she laugh easily? Is she pensive and quiet? Is she dainty? Does she like pretty things? Is she a tom-boy? Is she smart? Is she lonely? Who is holding her? Who looks at her, and smiles?
You see, I have read all the books, researched all the facts, heard all the stories.
In China, abortion is readily available to all, for nothing but the asking. In fact, really, truth be known it is demanded.
So, think about it. All those girls were wanted. The mother who continued the pregnancy had to hide, lived in fear of discovery, hoped for the impossible.
Gave birth to this precious child.
And after 2 or 3 days had to walk away.
Because it became impossible.
And as she walked away, she probably hid to make sure someone discovered her treasure.
Today, Kate called.
Not the call I thought we were going to get telling us GET THE TICKETS!! SHE IS IN YOUR ARMS IN 2 WEEKS!
This call told me it is probably 5 - 6 more weeks.
And I cried.
And I had to return to this afternoon.
Oh sister of my heart. The mother of my child.
I remembered, and now dear woman, I promise.
I promise to love her.
I promise to bring laughter into her heart.
I promise to hold her when she cries.
I promise to look at her.
I promise to let her explore.
I promise to bring music to her life.
I promise to let her dance, and to dance with her.
I promise to read to her.
I promise to show her God’s beautiful world.
I promise to guide her in honesty, integrity, and faith.
I promise to be faithful, even if it gets hard.
I promise to treasure her.
I promise to be there.
I promise to laugh with her.
I promise to continually bring her to the Throne, for it is the best I can do.
I promise to teach her all I know and if I don’t know it, get the resource.
I promise to delight in her antics.
I promise to teach her to love her heritage. For it is yours.
I promise to cheer her accomplishments.
I promise to cheer her on in her struggles.
I promise to make her mine, but really, she already is.
And I promise to tell her about you.
Her other mommy.
Who loved her. Loved her enough to carry her.
Who, I am sure loves her today.
Dear woman. The other mother of my child.
And today I cry. Because my arms ache.
As do yours.
But mine will be filled. One day. Soon.
And yours will be empty. Still.
And so dear, dear, precious woman...