Let's Dance to HIS tune.

Daisypath Anniversary tickers

Tuesday, November 6, 2012

Today is election day.  And quite frankly, I am tired of the commercials.  The crazy part is...we don't even watch tv.  :P

I won't try to change your mind.  I can only trust it is not an emotional decision;  or a stubborn prideful one.

Just, truly... who is the best man for the job.

Nope, I'm not going to talk about the elections today.

Instead, today I really want to talk about marriage.

I heard through the grapevine that Lisa Whelchel got a divorce.


I find that insulting and aggravating.

And quite frankly, she needs to get out of the spot light and let someone else pick up the mantle of grace, faithfulness, holiness.

It wasn't like he was beating her,  cheating on her, threatening to kill her.  Or even stopped loving her.

I guess after  24 years of marriage, and the life she spoke about in HIM was a joke...it as time to move on, be free.

Someone needed to go over to her house and slap her.

See.. as a Christian, your life...well it is totally NOT about you.  It is about HIM.

Do you not think there haven't been decades in my life when divorce didn't just look good, but seemed like the only solution??!!?
Do you think marriage is easy? fun? romantic? a perfect partnership? running through the woods hand in hand?

OK fine there are moments like that.

But there are also moments when you realized just how selfish you are, and I am not going to lie,  your spouse is the best person to blame for all your problems.

Marriage is not about what you can get out of it. It is not about feelings.  It is not about not dying alone.  It is not about doing the next thing in the time frame of life.  It certainly is not about getting our needs met.

It is about love.

Though the looking-lovingly-into-each-other's-eyes, not-being able-to-feel-complete-until-we-are-together-again, I-can-conquer-the-world-as-long-as-you-are-by-my-side, etc. kind of love is what usually gets you to the altar...

It is the knock out, dragged out, tired, painful, exasperated, angry, cry your eyes out,  quiet, loud, hurt, feeling hopeless but still holding on, trusting it will eventually become better though you seriously can't imagine it, clinging to The Cross because Jesus is all you have, and  you realize HE is all you need kind of love that will pull you through.

Marriage is a commitment.  No vacations, no get out of jail free cards, no do overs, no oopsies.

It is for life.  It is until death.

I have heard "  We made a mistake. We were young and didn't know each other very well. We just grew part.  S/he is a butt. We were not Christians when we got married.  I didn't know what I was doing.  S/he wasn't The One.'       You say the excuse, I have heard it.  Sometimes in my own head.

All I can say is..there is a problem?  Well doggone it, grab your cross, get your big boy/big girl panties on and deal with it, work it out and fix it.

Mind you, I was 17 years old when I got married. Still in high school.  To a guy I 'knew' for 5 months. Neither one of us were Christians.  Nothing in common. Different cultures. Different visions.


Almost 28 years ago, I made a vow.

And that vow has had its moments when it about killed me with sorrow/anger.

I bet this time next week, I will again think divorce is the answer to all my problems.  Again.

I am no saint.

But you now what?


And THAT is all that matters.

THAT will pull me through.

THAT will help me love my husband to distraction, when I would rather despise him.

THAT will give me the hope, that pin hole of light I need to take the next step in those moment when I don't want to or have the strength.

Because at the end of the day, how I lived it out for HIM is all that will matter.  Marriage was HIS idea.

And boy does HE hate divorce.

So, Lisa Whelchel, and all those 'christians' in the spot light who thought divorce was an option, please stop talking.  Please go figure out your life, your faith, your future in HIM.

Again, I am not talking the situations were violence, genuine fear for your life or pure evil exists in the marriage.  That is a totally different situation.

And please don't think my marriage is the pits.  Yes, it has pits moments. More than I care to admit or think about.  But we also have wonderful glorious, peaceful, supportive, fun, full of joy and laughter, discovery and awe moments.

It is called marriage.

GOD is good.


Lori said...

Seriously? I just heard Lisa on Dr. Dobson's show last week. Blah.

Listen, I'm with you...TOTALLY. As a gal who's about to celebrate 25 years of marriage...25 years that have been WAY up and down...I am with you. It's about commitment. Sticking with it through thick and thin. And trust me, we have been through the dang RINGER. Oh gee....listen, if WE can make it, ANYONE can.

So upsetting.

God is good.

You just gotta stick with it. And PRAY like your life depends on it. Because it DOES.

Anonymous said...

Hi. I came across your post searching for SOMETHING regarding this news. I'm actually a blogger also and working on a blog post about it. It's a very hard situation. If you read this old post about her marriage it's not the best way to start a marriage for sure. http://www.crosswalk.com/1090966/

Still, If she made the choice, she made it. That is how I see it. I watched her interview on the Jeff Probst show online here:
and go to 19 min in if you want to get right to it...
What she had to say was hard for me to hear.
We are so fickle! Our hearts cannot be trusted. Anyway, I have a lot of thoughts on what she said that I'll save for my own blog but I thought what you said was good.

Jontisha Graves said...

I just read your blog and never heard or read marriage described a perfectly as you put it. I feel the way you do when Christians get divorced over peanuts compared to the things I've suffered through. Then on the other side, I feel bad for Rachel. I don't want to judge anyone for any decision. I'll leave that to God, but what I have realized is that some people can't tolerate the amount of pain there truly is in a marriage. I get it and I should have been divorced 100 times already and I'm only 10 1/2 years in raising a child that my husband had as a result of an affair. You truly have to know and believe the word of God to make it each moment of each day. Anyways...I'm a new follower of yours :) God Bless You and your beautiful family!

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